The Taco of Assumptions…
I recently learned a lesson about assumptions that was hard to swallow. We've all probably heard the phrase, "I'm going to assume the best," but something hit me about my recent behavior that was difficult to face. Like just eating straight limes. The lesson was sour. Limes aren’t something I actively seek out to eat on their own, but on the taco of my leadership, this sour lesson is going to elevate my capabilities. (What am I even writing? It’s lunch, I’m hungry, and I’m projecting. Sorry.)
There are so many factors that flavor the way we lead, from the limes whose sour accents keep things interesting to the tortillas that try to hold everything together. If we continuously work to improve the ingredients and elements of our leadership, we'll be able to provide a great experience for everyone who works with us. I’m not sure if the taco metaphor is working, but I’m too committed to back out now.
Assumptions are one of the most important spices we have to learn to manage. Our core response as humans is to hedge against danger. It’s natural to always be identifying threats and taking action to distance ourselves from anything that might hurt us. Especially as business leaders, we are always looking for the things that might hurt our sales, cost us money, or create a toxic culture. From a strictly survival standpoint, hedging against these threats is crucial. The problem is that more often than not, we create what we fear. This is where the first lesson of assumptions hits us in the face: we often create what we assume. Not only do we have a bias toward confirming our assumptions, but our fear and negativity also create environments that breed those fears and assumptions.
As leaders, it’s very very easy to subconsciously seed negative assumptions about our team.
How often have you heard these assumptions from other leaders?
We can’t tell the team what’s really going on.
They’re just entitled.
They need to earn my trust.
People will be lazy and do the bare minimum.
If we do that, they’ll just take advantage of us.
They’re in it for themselves.
They won’t change.
They can’t be developed.
They don’t see the whole picture.
They will avoid conflict.
If we give them what they want, they won’t learn a lesson.
Nobody wants to take responsibility.
It’s so easy to be afraid of people leaving, not doing their jobs, taking advantage of us, gossiping, etc., that we’ve built many of our business systems to prevent these things from happening. In most companies, we’ve unknowingly used the most negative assumptions to fuel our behaviors and tactics. Building our ecosystems on these negative assumptions is like cooking with processed foods. Sure, they work, but they aren’t making us healthy.
So, what does healthy actually look like? I really like how Maslow frames assumptions (though I’ve adjusted them a bit for more common language).
Assume that everyone:
Wants to do great work.
Should be as informed as possible.
Can be trusted.
Would rather create than destroy.
Would rather do meaningful work than meaningless work.
Aligns with the organization's goals.
Can take it.
Wants to resolve conflicts.
Can enjoy good teamwork, group spirit, and togetherness.
Is improvable (not perfectible).
Wants to feel useful, needed, and successful.
Prefers to love their bosses.
Dislikes fearing anyone.
Wants a sense of purpose.
Maslow’s list is quite extensive—you should definitely read the book “Maslow on Management.”
When I first read these, honestly, a few of them made me uncomfortable. They sound… right? But also not always practical? Like, should I really assume everyone is to be trusted? That can’t be true.
Or can it?
See, it’s not about whether or not people will behave like the negative assumptions—they absolutely will. People aren’t perfect. The real question is, what happens when you shift all your systems to promote the best in people, not just mitigate the worst? You’re now cooking with better ingredients. It’s not that you won’t find a moldy tomato or oversalt something once in a while, but not the net positive of your dish is fresh and healthy
Here’s where I’ve been learning from my sour limes.
Positive assumptions are powerful ingredients. But they mean nothing if we don’t act on them. I realized I had been assuming the best, but not always acting like I was. Correct ingredients, incorrect technique.
To fully assume the best in others, you have to act like they will act as their best selves—even while you KNOW they won’t always. You’re taking a risk that they might fail, but you still act as if they won’t. It’s easier to deal with an individual failure than overall disengagement.
Again, but with tacos: You have to create the space (you, beautiful tortilla) for your team to BE the fresh ingredients, while knowing that periodically, they will choose to be processed food. But if the space you create assumes they’re going to be crappy processed food, it’s much harder for them to stay the beautiful fresh ingredients they WANT to be. What’s worse is when we know we need to make changes, so we try one thing to see how it goes, and (inevitably) it goes wrong, so we use that to justify why we shouldn’t take those risks. No! The entire taco needs to change. Every system needs to be built to optimize for the best in people.
It’s always easier to behave like the environment you’re in, and when the environment isn’t calling out your best, it’s much harder to be your best. You want bad behavior or poor performance to be the outlier, not good behavior or good performance.
Let’s try some of these on:
You assume people can be trusted? Give them autonomy over their work.
You assume people want to do good work? Give them the best tools to do good work.
You assume people want to know what’s going on? Give them the data.
You assume people can handle the truth? Tell them the truth.
You assume they should have meaning? Give them authority or recognition.
You assume they want to align? Let them set goals and cast vision.
You assume they can take it? Tell them what they don’t want to hear.
You assume they want to resolve conflict? Tell them to resolve conflicts themselves.
You assume they want a good culture? Give them tools to create great culture.
Call them out when they don’t behave according to the best assumption, but don’t change the assumption. Then, twist a little risk on top, and you’ll have the best freaking team/tacos.
I encourage you to take your team out for tacos and have a conversation about this. If you want to jump into this headfirst, share this article with your team. Open up the process and let them know you want to do better. Ask them what you can do and how you can support a better environment.
If you’re the team reading this, just know that creating a stellar environment will take time, and you won’t always get what you want—most of the time, you won’t. Your boss will make a lot of mistakes, just like you will. This is where having patience for each other is key. If you expect them to assume and act out of the best for you, you also need to assume and act out of the best for them. If things get awkward, just taco ’bout it.
